The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex read is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay guys desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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