The Sensuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the click to read hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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